On a day like today...

When my list of things to do is high... when my job as a homemaker & homeschooling mom requires me to reach into my bag of tricks and be in as many places as I can, seemingly all at one time... when tomorrow is my husband's birthday and I am wanting to make him a homemade coconut cream pie from scratch (minus the crust. I'm cheating and using a premade one this year ;).... and when my youngest jewel is teething and doesn't feel so great, I am once again reminded of how much I love being a mom and how much I love my Ergo baby carrier.

I am also reminded of how I love attachment parenting and what a blessing it has been in my life to both me and my little lovies.

Seven years ago I was blessed with my first high needs/highly sensitive child.

$100 seemed like a crazy amount for a baby carrier, even though I was so desperate to be able to get things done around my house without my baby yelling non-stop. (and mine don't agree with the cry it out method. They are stronger than that game) so I tried every other carrier I could find, including slings and the ever famous Moby Wrap. (As you can see, I had spent the cost of an Ergo by now, all in the name of not spending that much money. Oy... we live and learn, huh.) I definitely learned a few things back then. One in particular was that women who wear Moby Wraps amaze me! I am in awe of you ladies... seriously. I have babies who cry and there was no way I could figure out how to wrap that thing properly so I gave up.

My sweet hubby finally told me just to spend the money on an Ergo baby carrier and I did. I have never regretted that decision and 7 years later and 3 more babies I still don't!

I now also have the KTan and I love it, especially when your babies are tiny. To me it's the equivalent of a non-confusing Moby Wrap. That I love! It's so easy to understand how to use which is a total plus in my book.

It seems like it would be wrong if I didn't talk a little about Attachment parenting on this post, because after all it's why I carry my babies. Once upon a time I didn't know what "attachment parenting" was. It wasn't until my 7 year old had to wear cloth diapers only weeks old that I was introduced to those two words. After a little research, I came to the conclusion that I had been that kind of parent since our first was born.

And now years later, the many hours devoted to holding my little ones close, lengthy, painful attempts at breastfeeding, endless nights of co-sleeping and lots of kissing I don't regret being this kind of a parent.

When people see us in stores and ask me how I have such well behaved girls I typically say it's because of homeschooling but now that I think about it, homeschooling is only part of the reason my children act the way they do.

My children are happy because of one thing and that is the fact that they know how loved they are. It's because of my husband and I practicing attachment parenting.

Being a stay at home, homeschooling mama definitely allows me much more time than working mama's to spend time with my babies but I have to say that even if I was forced to work, I believe my babies would still have smiles on their faces. All because of one word... love.

To me, real love is attachment parenting. In one word... Agape. It's what Jesus wanted from Peter. It is the best, most pure love. It is selfless. It is what the makings of a great parent take, nothing less.

And it takes work. But the benefits and rewards are infinite.

Love isn't selfish. It means making the time to focus on your babies, even when you might not be having the best of days. One mom once pointed out that we should think about our facial expressions. It's what our kiddos see when they look at us. A furrowed brow definitely doesn't spread joy and it sure doesn't show someone you love them. This convicted me years ago and since then I've been more conscience about what my kiddos see when they look at their mama's face. I want it to be love.

 

Love means listening to their heart and showing them you are really interested in what they are saying. This can be a challenge for a busy mama but it's important we take time to listen. Our babies are only little once and we only have one chance to be a good parent.

 

It means wiping runny noses, dirty bottoms and all the other things that are a part of caring for another little human being with a smile on your face. (and in your heart) If you're a mama, some of the best advice I can give you is pray to find joy in serving your little ones if you don't, and if you do find joy they will see this and it will rub off on them.

The above picture is our oldest and our youngest.

'Sunshine,' our eldest daughter didn't think that her hair was pretty enough for me to take her picture but I couldn't resist. Ashlyn (our youngest) looked like a happy little duck which made me laugh. She adores her big sister 'Sunshine,' and the feeling is mutual. Our eldest loves to care for others. She has experienced the rewards and they are great indeed.

In conclusion, on a day like today when the business seemed to be endless, naptime finally arrived and I was gently reminded as I rocked my teething baby and as three of my five were lulled into sleep, that I am so thankful I have babies and am able to love them like crazy.

Life happens, and now as I wrap this post up I am holding my two year old while listening to my others talk happily with each other. Naptime is over. Let my evening begin.

The Lord gives the barren woman children. I am that woman. I went 7 years calling my uterus a uterine graveyard, crying inside every time I saw a pregnant woman. I lost 3 babies in the course of that seven years and one more a couple years later yet God eventually blessed me and now I have a full house. I ache for women who can't conceive and I feel sorry for those who can and don't realize what a blessing God has put in their lives.

To need/want an Ergo is such a blessing, and on a day like today I am reminded of that.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall... Who is the most perfect homemaker of them all?

 

 

Mirror Mirror on the Wall... who is the most perfect homemaker of them all? 

 

Are you a Christian mama who browses blogs for encouragement? I am. I can't tell you how many times I have been blessed by another mama sharing some sort of recipe or story about their life. I can also say that God used my last blog to touch others. I've literally had women contact me so I know the power of the blog world personally.

 

Even with the encouragement I have found, I have also shut my computer down many a night only to feel depleted after browsing Christian mama blogs.

 

After I found out the truth about salvation back in August 2009 I was what could be referred to as a baby in the faith. I had known Jesus all my life but not His Word. I knew religion well but I didn't know the God of the Bible intimately. I had no knowledge of the words the Bible held in it.

 

As I began to read I learned what God had to say about wives, mothers and the role of women in general. I have to tell you. It bothered me some. I didn't feel good enough or even capable to be the kind of woman, wife, or mom that God said He wanted me to be. So when we found our first church after this I was looking at the women around me to see how they were handling it all. What I witnessed wasn't pretty.

 

There was a lot of competition.

 

There was women burnout.

 

It's hard to try to keep up with other people.

 Before we go further, if you are new to my blog, maybe you were just linking to a recipe and decided to get to know me personally, then there is something you should know. I'm not a typical Christian blogging woman. I don't feel I have any right to try to teach anyone anything. I am not preaching. I am not stating my opinions as fact. I am not placing myself on some Christian pedestal and telling you how you should live or what decisions you should make. That is not my job, nor would I want it. I used to tell my father "It's my life," and I was correct. It was my life and yours is yours. However, this is my blog and I get to write about what God puts on my heart. And right now, it's a serious issue I've witnessed among Christian women that should be addressed.


Now that that's covered, it's back to my story. If you stick around, this post will either comfort you so you know that you are not alone or it might convict you. It may even just get a "I totally agree" from you. Either way, I hope it blesses you. The below picture is just for fun. It cracks me up. :)

During the time that I watched women try to outdo, or to be as far in their spiritual walk and homemaking wonderfulness as others I also entered the blogging world, and wow, there are a lot of mama's out there wanting to share their lives with the world. I'm one of them.  I just don't have the time to invest in making my blog a priority like some of those other women do. No judgment here. I'm just not them.

I have found so many encouraging and helpful blogs over the years and I am so unbelievably grateful to those women for taking the time to give this fellow mama a window into their kitchens and homes.

On the other side, which is why I'm writing this blog, I have also noticed some other things in the homemaking blog world.

What I found was a world of blogs with a whole lot of, "This is how to love your husband," and "How to be the best homemaker you can." I've also seen blogs in the realm of healthy living that talk about everything they use to make their family healthy.

You might be asking yourself what's wrong with that?

My answer to you is, "Nothing."

What's wrong in my opinion is the lack of both sides of these women's lives. So much good is talked about, but what about the bad? Things can't always be perfect. What about the nitty gritty of life? Why aren't more women talking about the problems in their marriage and what they're doing to work through them? What about parents stepping up and admitting they didn't do the best parenting job that day, year or years for that matter. Why am I not seeing more women talking about their financial issues? If their blog states that it is meant to be an encouragement to others than why is this not happening?

Some blogging mama's live behind an imaginary internet door. It is a common mindset in Blog land to get on and type what is encouraging to other mom's. No one wants to hear what went wrong with your day, right. No one wants to hear how a healthy mama blogger who writes about health and wellness, cheated and gave her family processed food? I say they do. I say we need that!

How can we reach out to other women and let them know we're all on the same team? They're not alone. They don't have to be perfect to be the perfect wife and mother to their family? Why must women be so secretive about the trials they are facing.

My heart hurts because of this problem. In a time when I needed to know I wasn't a failure and there were other mom's like me out there, what I mostly found was a lot of women who appeared to have it all together and that, my friends, made me feel even worse. What was wrong with me?

I was tired.

I was worn out.

I had been divorced and struggled with my daughter from that relationship.

I struggled with intense hatred and bitterness towards her biological father.

I have a tattoo.

I struggled with feeding my family non-processed foods all the time.

I wasn't always the submissive wife.

I wasn't patient during my husband's stay at basic training, tech school, or the many times of unemployment. I was mad.

I failed at diets.

I had high needs, fussy babies that took up a lot of my time leaving me none for private prayer time.

I was a failure at breastfeeding.

I didn't have the money to make crafts for my home.

I had no clue how to sew.

I didn't always wear skirts.

My girls didn't (and still don't) wear modest swimwear. (have you priced that? I can't afford them)

I didn't know how to play a musical instrument and couldn't afford lessons for my kids.

We didn't have family worship.

I was the complete opposite of what the women appeared to be. Lovely, skirt wearing, submissive, humble, breastfeeding wives whose sweet little babies cooed up at them and weren't on a mission to rip their hair out like mine were. (Mine love hair! lol)

As you can see, I wasn't winning the award for most perfect homemaker. (and still wouldn't)

I felt like a total failure. That is until God opened my eyes and allowed me to see past everyone's words. I began noticing women around me who might have said one thing but their actions and esp. facial expressions said another. I even watched a pastors wife have a semi-meltdown during a service where her kids were climbing all over her. Her husband was preaching and she was done. Quickly I saw this put together, always smiling (sometimes very fakely) woman raise her eyebrows in a scary fashion and say her husbands name in a pitch and tone that hurt my ears. She had cracked. All the pressure had gotten to her and I was there to see it. My gift from God. She wasn't perfect even though she wanted to appear that way. Her inability to save face was beautiful in my eyes. She was human.

I also had a very smart man whom I am blessed to call my husband tell me that those women couldn't be as happy as they seemed every day and neither could their children. When I asked him how he knew that about their kids since all I had seen was pretty pictures and sweet antidotes their loving children had said, his response was this, "Tell me this honey. Where are there kids while they're spending all this time blogging? Where is their husband?" That stopped me in my tracks. He was right! There was no way I could blog as much as those women and be the kind of mom I want to be for my kids, or the kind of wife I want to be for my husband.

After that it began to look exhausting to be those women and soon I wasn't so envious. Neither did I feel like such a failure anymore. My husband had pointed something out to me that opened my eyes to the possibility that behind their internet door it wasn't always as pretty as I thought.

Why is it so hard for some women to open up? I don't find anyone who seems to have a perfect life impressive. Why? Because I don't believe them, that's why. I pray for these women.

 

I believe the time has come for peace and serenity.

 

I believe as women we are called to strive to be our best and admit our failures to each other. Why is it so important to admit to others where we've failed. I'll tell you why. It's because God can use our story to give someone the encouragement or strength they might need. If we never open up, they, like I did, will feel alone and they aren't. So I plan on changing that. I don't know who God will lead to my Blog. It won't be by the amount of fans I have. But I can tell you this, the women who come here will get a dose of a real Christian mama not afraid to show she's not perfect. They will leave not feeling judged and hopefully feeling encouraged to keep on moving on. Tomorrow is another day. None of us are perfect and God knows that and loves us anyway. Isn't that beautiful!

 

It is my prayer that more women think like this. There are some women out there like this already. It is my hope that more and more emerge.

 

I want no "perfect" women in my close circle of friends. I want honest, humble women who stand up and say they've failed a time or two, or three or four hundred. Then I can encourage them to get back up and they can do the same for me.

 

 

Matthew 18:3 Become as Little Children

Matthew 18:3

Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

There are many reasons I feel blessed to be a mom. It was a dream of mine since I was a little girl playing with my baby dolls.

My personal journey of motherhood started at 16, long before it should have and sadly it is a story of long proportions and not always pretty.

On the bright side, we have an amazing God who loves us and wants us to be close to Him. I believe that's one of the reasons He gave us the above words in Matthew chapter 18. To enter into heaven we have to become like little children.

As silly as it may sound the above picture is how I feel when I think about being with Jesus one day, about seeing my earthly father again and seeing my unborn babies for the first time. I get almost giddy inside.

You don't have to be a parent to see that children unscathed by the world are different than us adults. Left to grow at their own pace there is an innocence, a purity, a trust and truth that most adults just don't possess. How can one not love that? Especially our Creator?

My daughters have such a joy of life that it's highly contagious. Each little thing in their life has the potential in their eyes to be something great. .

They don't initially see bad anywhere. They are prewired to see good in all things. And they are each filled with so much love that it literally bursts out of them even as babies.

We all adore baby kisses. They're the best!

Children aren't tainted like most adults. They are forgiving and resilient. They are incredible.

They are precious gems.

I often find myself laughing with my children. Their antics keep me smiling and today something dawned on me. Being around my kiddos as a homeschool mom has allowed me to be blessed to where I get to see the world through their eyes every day.

I have to share with you that when I had this revelation I realized I was smiling because I wasn't looking at the world through my eyes anymore. I was looking at it through a child's eyes and what a blessing it was.

I can tell you this much. It's a much happier view.

"One Day You Won't Like Each Other"

"One day you won't like each other." This is what a Sgt. in the Air Guard told my 4 year old at family day. She's the one on the right holding her big sisters hand.

I don't exactly remember what preceded this woman telling my daughter this statement, but I can tell you what happened on the way home. My sweet, innocent four year old was in shock and immediately asked me why the lady said that. She then followed that question with, "Is that true, Mama?"

My mama's heart was saddened and somewhat annoyed. The Sgt. meant well, I'm sure. (in her own way) One can only assume that she grew up with siblings and didn't like hers when they were older. This is not how I want my children to be. This is not how I am raising them.

The above picture was taken one evening the week after the family day and after dinner as night was approaching. We went out to the back yard to walk around and when I saw this I quickly grabbed my camera.

So was that Sgt. right? Will my kids not like each other when they become adults? I don't think so. As a matter of fact, I believe that those little girls will grow into women and be each others best friends.

Will they disagree and fight along the way? Of course. Will they have moments where they aren't too fond of each other? Of course. They do now. It is how they deal with each hardship with each other that I believe will tell the tale of their future relationships.

And this is where parenting comes in. What do I do when they make each other mad? When one takes the others belonging... when one hurts the others feelings... raises their voice at each other... disrespects each other?

I go to the Bible and teach them what Grace and forgiveness is. We talk. They talk. I encourage them not to hold in their feelings but to voice them with each other. Communication is important. I want each of them to hear their siblings pain and to act the way they would want their sister to act towards them if they were the one hurt.

This form of parenting is time consuming and it isn't always easy, but it has worked for us so far.

My girls fight and they make up. They hurt each other and they forgive. Each one knows they aren't perfect and that their sisters aren't either. We all need Jesus, them included. We can do all things through Christ, and that includes forgiving each other. By ourselves however, that is a totally different story.

Will my daughters grow up and dislike each other? I can't see into the future, but if I were a betting woman, I would say that no they won't. I believe the opposite will happen. Part of me wishes that the Sgt. would have kept her opinions to herself, but at the same time it opened up a great conversation about why the Sgt. said what she did. Obviously she and her siblings weren't very interested in caring for each others feelings. They were more interested in the "to each his own," way of life.

Any relationship that has a "me" philosophy will crater, sisters included. My little girls would be no different if I didn't take the time to raise them to step out of their comfort zone and learn how to offer each other the same Grace that Jesus offers them. How can we expect anyone to be perfect when we can't be perfect. That, to me, is just plain silly, and this is how I raise my girls.

So far, so good.